The Beginning Of The End
by katthephat
Summary: What happens when Harry come home from work a few hours early? One-shot. Kind of angsty.
1. I'm A Fake

**a/n: This is my first fic for FanFiction. I know that it's not the best one out there, but a girl's gotta start somewhere right?**

**I don't own anything in this fic, except the story. I don't own "I'm A Fake" By The Used, or Harry Potter and friends.**

**If I did, I wouldn't work fast food. xP**

**Enjoy!**

**The Begining Of The End.**

_This is not a small cut_

_that scabs and dries_

_and flakes and heals._

As soon as I walked in the front door, I knew that something was off. I knew as soon as I walked into the room that we had shared for years. I knew as soon as I saw your lips touching his, that you didn't love me. I knew that as soon as you saw that I was home, you'd give me your patented smirk. Just like I knew that your eyes would be begging me to do something. Something to help your concious kick in. I knew it, but I didn't. I didn't know that on our ten year anniversary, you'd be in my bed fucking someone half our age. I didn't know that it would even hurt like it did. I didn't know that my eyes were just spilling over with the unshed tears as I stood there while you fucked him. All that I knew was that you would be the one to end us. And in essence end me. So I left, making sure that I was as quiet as possible as I walked away.

I know that I didn't stick around for you to explain. Would you? I didn't want to see you, looking all beautifuly flushed. Like you always do after sex? I didn't want to hear your explination as to why you were fucking someone else in my bed. I didn't want to hear you say that you wanted to leave me for someone else. Someone that was younger and prettier and paid you the attention that you feel that you deserve.

Didn't you know that you could've told me that you wanted more attention? Didn't you know that you could have told me anything? I don't even want to believe that you were trying to save me the heartbreak of you telling me that you didn't want to be with me anymore. I don't want to believe that you wanted something else. I gave you all of my love and affection. I gave you my time, and this was the last time that I will ever give you my tears. I don't want to cry for you anymore. I don't want to love you anymore. I don't want you to feel like you have to love me, because we both know that you don't. In fact, I wonder if you could ever love someone other than yourself. And don't try to kid yourself. We both know that you didn't love me.

_I'm not afraid to die._

_I'm not afraid to bleed and fuck and fight._

After defeating Him, do you really think that I care about my life? My whole life I was told that I was the only one that could save the entire planet. Do you really think that after doing all that they expected me to do that I would have anything to live for? I hate the fact that the whole world only wanted to use me, use me for their own personal gain. All he wanted to do was get back on the world for abandoning him, and instead of dealing it with themselves, they left me to do what they couldn't. I was 17 at the final battle. It was the 16th anniversary of the day that I had destroyed him the first time. Figures.

When I first met you, I was steadily on my way to dying. There was no one left that I trusted. I hated everyone around me. Resented them even. Hermoine, the Wesleys, Siris, Dumbledore; my entire family, gone because of one pointless, stupid vendetta. I was willing to die, to end my own life because of the guilt and pressure I felt. I felt like it was my fault that everyone around me died, while I went on to life a normal life. Well, as normal as it could be, being the boy who lived to defeat him. Then you had walked into my life and made me decide that it was worth living again. There was nothing that you couldn't do to make me get better. I wanted to get better so that I could be with you. I felt like I was letting you down by not accepting the fact that sometimes people die. I mean, you had lost almost your entire family too. You knew that you just had to cut your losses. Some people lost their entire family, some families were completely wiped out. Just because I had lost everyone that had ever been close to me died, didn't mean that I had to die too. You used to tell me that all the time. I would wake up all funked out, and you would say the right thing to help me get out of that funk. You helped me get on with my life. So I will.

_I'm cutting trying to picture your black broken heart._

_Love is not like anything. Especially a fucking knife._

I just wanted to say this to you. My lover, my confidant, my best friend, and yes, my whole life. You made my life worth living again. I had lost everyone that I had ever loved, and then you came strolling into my life again. I knew that it would be a mistake to make you my whole life, but then you looked at me with your beautiful eyes. Eyes that were begging me to give you a chance to help me heal all the wounds that I had. And you did. You healed all the holes in my heart, and then you ripped them open again. I hate myself for ever giving you the chance to be around me. To help me heal those wounds. I hate myself for not being strong enough to sort throught this. And most of all, I hate myself for loving you.

You took my life after the war.

I'm taking it back.

By the time you get this, I hope to be gone. Gone to somewhere where you'll never reach me. I hope that you and your new boy toy are happy. At least, until you get bored with that one, and leave him for someone younger and prettier. Like you did to me.

Goodbye, Draco.

Remember that I will always love you. Until the day I die.


	2. Goodby, My Lover

**A/N:This was orginally intended to be a one-shot, but you guys convinced me to at least write a sequel. Make me happy and review please? Oh, and btw, I love this new song. It's called "Dat Baby Don't Look Like Me" By Shawty Putt feat. Lil' John. It's totally about the Maury Show, which I watch religiously. Like everyday. I make sure my schedule allows me to watch it... that's obession.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, or "Goodbye, My Lover" by James Blunt. If I did, do you honestly think that I'd work for barely over minimum wage?? Seriously.**

_Did I disappoint you? Or let you down?_

_Should I be feeling guilty, or let the judges frown?_

I knew that you were going to be home early. Just like I knew what day it was. I knew that it was our ten year anniversary. I brought that boy home to show you that I wanted this whole thing to end. I mean, you didn't care what happened to us anymore. I don't know how many times I threatened to leave you, and you just told me to go. That's what pushed me over the edge. I couldn't just leave, you'd wake up

the next day and wonder where I was. I tried that before, remember? You looked and looked and looked for me for three weeks. When I came back to get my stuff, you asked me, with tears in your eyes, where I went. How could I tell you that you told me to leave? So I just lied and said that I needed a few days to myself. You looked at me with such relief in your eyes. You were so passionate that night. I hated that in order to go back to the way things were, I had to scare you out of your bubble. I just didn't expect the news that I heard today on my way to work.

They found your body today. I knew that they would, after the letter you sent me. I knew that if we ever ended, you'd die without me. Not because you needed me there to care for you, but because you were such a mess after the war, that without me, you'd never be able to survive yourself. I just hope that where ever you are. You're with those that love you, the ones that can love you like I can't. I'm not saying that I didn't love you in the beginning, because I did. I loved you more than life itself. Then you changed. I hated the fact that you were so eagar to please me. Like I was the deciding factor in your life. I knew that you thought that I was God. The one that would decide whether or not you would live or die.

In the beginning you were almost daring me to let you die. Like you just didn't care anymore. Then you changed. The fact is, is that in the beginning you were like your old self. Towards the end, I think you just dropped the ball. I think that it was around eight years after you killed Voldemort that you just stopped caring. I didn't want to deal with you all sad again. I hated you when you were sad, because no matter what I did, you were unconsolable. You didn't want me to touch you, talk to you, or even be around you. Then the next day, you would act like nothing had happened the day before. Those were the times that I hated the most. I tried to convince you to get help, but you didn't want the whole world to realize that you had some serious problems.

_Took your soul out into the night._

_It may be over but it won't stop there,_

You said that after the war, I took your life. I didn't want it like that. I wanted you to be able to live your own life without me there to pick up the pieces if you failed. I wanted to be able to tell you that I loved you without worrying that you'd hear the pity in my voice. I knew that if I didn't tell you that I loved you everyday, you'd fall apart. I couldn't have that on my concious. So I guess that everyone I knew was right, towards the end, I was with you out of pity. I didn't want you to think that our entire life together was all a lie, because it was never like that. I always loved you, it just started to fade towards the end.

I just want you to know Harry that I never would have wanted you to take your own life.

Never. No matter how much you hated me. I never thought that you'd leave me like that. Make it so final. I miss you.

_I've kissed your lips and held your head._

_Shared your dreams and shared your bed._

_I know you well, I know your smell._

_I've been addicted to you._

They're calling me a killer, Harry. Me, the boy that couldn't hurt a fly. I guess they found that picture of us in your hand. I will never forget that picture. It was shortly after we had gotten together, and that Creevy kid took a picture of us when we were down by the lake. I don't think you were ever that happy again, not like you were on that day. I miss that boy. I guess that it doesn't matter anymore. You're gone from me forever. And I will never forget you. How can I when all I remember is you beneath me, next to me, cooking for me and just sitting there with me, when our day was too rough to talk about. I just can't believe that we don't have that anymore. Because of you.

_I cannot live without you._

_Goodbye, my lover. _

_goodbye, my friend._

Just know, my darling, that I will be with you soon. Maybe not tomorrow or the next day, but when living without you gets too hard to do, I will join you. That's a promise that I will keep.

I love you, Harry James Potter-Malfoy.

For the rest of my days, I will always love you.


End file.
